Having had a skater who has filled just about every role on a team throughout her synchronized skating journey, I can definitely say one thing. Every situation teaches our children something and mine was no different. And as the mom, I was usually more anxious about it than she was.
Our very first experience in synchro was my daughter’s role as a training skater who got lucky and skated one competition. She joined the team late, hung out with older kids, and learned what synchronized skating was all about. Dedicated and willing to learn, she earned the opportunity to fill a hole at a competition due to an absence, and she was hooked! A few years later she was a trainer again but also a cross skater – moving between the preliminary and juvenile teams. She was too young to know how to take advantage of a training role, so that wasn’t very productive. But she loved the preliminary team and was the team leader! Those years I learned that sometimes just being part of the experience is all someone might need to find their passion.
There were a variety of experiences as a rotator, shared or swing. Once as a cross skater – core on one team but rotator on another – which was great. And several others where she was a rotator and had to earn the right to skate in competition at every practice. As a parent, looking back I think I watched almost every practice those years. I wanted to see if she fit in, what she was struggling with, and to make sure the decision of who to skate was, in my humble opinion, “fair”. (Like I was the expert?) As a parent, it was nerve wracking. As a skater, my daughter loved it. She fought hard each and every practice but didn’t have all the pressure to perform if she was struggling. Sometimes she skated, sometimes she didn’t. Sometimes she rose to the occasion and was amazing! Sometimes she was a ball of nerves and just barely made it through. But her coaches always seemed to know when she was ready to handle the pressure and made decisions that worked. I didn’t always agree with them, but looking back I know they were mostly the right ones.
The most anxious year for us as parents was the first year on a junior team. She was the youngest, weakest, and a rotator. We went into the season with no expectation that she would skate a competition, and anticipated it was just going to be a great (but probably frustrating for us) learning experience. Fortunately, she rotated the short program and had a few opportunities to see the ice in competition, including internationally. The team won gold and she was hooked on being a Team USA synchronized skater. This was more than we could have hoped for. That trip was the first time I heard the playing of the national anthem while my child stood on the ice. It was an experience I will never forget!
While watching from the boards at Nationals that season, she was comfortable with the coach’s decision and appreciated not having to deal with the pressure as they fought for a podium position. It was a strange experience as a parent, but I attended to support her and the team for the entire weekend. Looking back, that season was a turning point in her skating career. Technically, she had amazing growth but also realized how much more was needed, it inspired her passion to achieve more by seeing more, we learned what it meant to trust the coach who took a chance and moved her up, and it opened our eyes to what was possible in the sport by watching some of the best international teams. Had she stayed back a level and been a secure core skater, I believe her skating journey would have looked very different.
As the parent of a core skater, it was much less stressful. Tryouts had less to be nervous about and a spot on the team was secure. We were confident she would be able to technically execute whatever the coaches asked for in the competition program. Our worries shifted away from our daughter to who the team around her would include. Would they be strong enough to reach the competitive goals they set? Some years that was yes, some not so much.
Here are my reminders for you and your skater heading into the synchronized skating season:
- Things change. Skaters get sick, have school commitments, don’t develop as quickly as the coach would like or have trouble with an element they just can’t seem to get.
- Coaches make choices about who to skate and in what positions with the best of intentions. As parents, when our child gets passed over it is easy to make excuses.
- Learn to trust the process. Make sure your skater is prepared for anything, especially if they are trainers, rotators or alternates. Be ready for the day the coach says “we need you in this spot today”.
- Communicate with the coaches to know what improvements are needed and keep taking lessons to get better.
- Ice time is expensive so don’t waste it. Every time they are on the ice provides an opportunity to improve.
- Watch different spots in the program so skaters could be placed anywhere if needed.
- Core skaters shouldn’t take it for granted. Those spots can change if you don’t put in the hard work or your positive attitude slips to negative.
- Support the skaters in those training, rotator or alternate spots. They are some of the most difficult to be in.
- Make sure everyone feels included regardless of their role on the team.
- Every skater on the team has value and importance, or they wouldn’t be there.
I’ve always felt that participating in synchronized skating was never about an individual season, but the career our children have through the sport. Some seasons are great, some are not. But every stage teaches them something new. Our job as parents is to support them through each and every step.
Follow my weekly blog the Confessions of a Synchronized Skating Mom, as I share all that I have learned through my 25 year experience with this amazing sport.
in synch mom 